New Meanings for Old Words

• Acupuncture, n., a jab well done.
• Adult, n., a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
• Beauty Parlor, n., a place where women curl up and dye.
• Cannibal, n., someone who is fed up with people.
• Chicken, n., the only animal we eat before it is born and after it is dead.
• Committee, n., a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
• Dust, n., mud with the juice squeezed out.
• Egotist, n., someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
• Handkerchief, n., cold storage.
• Inflation, n., cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
• Mosquito, n., an insect that makes you like flies better.
• Raisin, n., grape with a sunburn.
• Secret, n., something you tell to one person at a time.
• Skeleton, n., a collection of bones with the person scraped off.
• Toothache, n., the pain that drives you to extraction.
• Tomorrow, n., one of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
• Yawn, n, an honest opinion openly expressed.
• Wrinkle, n., something other people have; I have character lines.

taken from: www.alphadictionary.com